When we die; we have faith that our life will begin again- that we will be raised from death. I wonder when we die if all our memories; the sad and hard memories of broken lives, broken families, and broken hearts will still be with us. Sin brings upon death. But when die, will there be no more sin in our lives? When we hug our father will we feel no more evil- no more memories of the times we betrayed our friends, our family, or even our body? Donald Miller recently talked about being loved versus being liked, and asked the question of "how many people we would want at our funeral." I love being loved, I would think everyone does. But sometimes I think I am better at being liked, because I don't truly get to know people for a long period of time. I just come in and then head my way out when it's no longer comfortable anymore. When you are loved I believe that person truly knows you -inside and out, flaws and all. Sometimes its hard to love people the more you know them, the more your heart opens and there true person shines through. Those that love me the most have the capability of exposing the evil in my heart and life and that's hard. I want to be loved, I want my heart to constantly be changed, I want to expose the sin in my life to God's holiness and thanks to my friends and those that love me, the transformation is happening and always will.
I can remember driving one day with my dad and talking about funerals. I've only been to one, (Mr. John Browns), and I remember feeling pretty emotionless and time stuck. There are a lot of good points to remember when conversing about funerals though. One: People have to move on with there life, it doesn't have to be right away (although usually it is) but you cannot expect them to drag on your dead life too. Two: Funerals happen every moment, and unfortunately death is something God created; we have to remember his plan is not flawed. Three: Funerals can be a party full of good drinks and beautiful people.
When it comes to my day; selfishly I want people to remember me, and think of me and miss me. I want them to feel bad for not loving me, for forgetting about me when I'm long gone. But that's an attitude I am beginning to change. I have always want to be cremated, or buried under a huge tree, with canapeeing branches. The day of the funeral or whatever you want to call it, I want people to wear colored clothes. I want there to be music, and conversation about God and his greatness. I want people to meet someone they never met, I want people to fall in love. I want music and good food, soul music and food for the soul. I want it to be a day people use to relax and vacation. It doesn't matter if there is 10 people or 100; I want them to feel whole and full, consumed by laughs and good memories. And maybe partying gifts, like a picture or a good recipe, or my favorite gift: an insightful novel! Cheers to that day, I get to meet my maker.