Every once in a while college feels like something different. I remember freshman year when it felt like a never ending camp session, where you could be with your friends at any time and just enjoy hanging out and going out together. Recently though, (I guess now that were getting older) College feels like one big dating site, where everyone's looking for someone else. I am picking out the characteristics I like in the people I meet more often, and deciding what I don't find attractive. In my opinion life is not about finding someone else, and it has nothing to do with marring. Life is more important than that, so I am not sure why I feel that its so important to be liked and attractive to other people. These next two years are going to fly by. Am I living in a way that allows me to enjoy this time of my life? I don't want to keep scheduling things and fitting people and events in. I just want to live and love those around me, including myself. And sometimes that's the hardest. Where do I begin when I don't like who I am in the inside? And how to I become the person I know I was meant to be?
There's got to be a reason why we can't dig deep sometimes. There's definitely got to be a situation or experience that keeps us from letting love overtake our minds. Why don't we move forward? Why can't one grow to shift the wall of current situations? I'm sadden because I feel I can't be there, because I feel as if I'm not believing or accepting the gifts we've been given. I just want to move closer, I want to move in and unpack the stuff I've yet to forgiven and be forgiven of. Maybe I'm not believing, maybe I'm just not clearly seeing, that the power I've been given can change some habits and bring an abundance of joy to the people who think church is doing nothing. But this isn't a steeple. I'm not taking about an organizational freakish place, I'm talking about a group of people. All I know is that I have a long way to go, and anything can increase but it is he who will bring the true peace. Maybe that's what I...